Failing Miserably

This will be my third or fourth attempt at creating my own website and putting it on the interwebz. Every time before, the same ending always prevailed. I would get so frustrated with how hard Squ***sp*** is to use and I would feel lacking in my credits or artistic contributions to society that I would let the site expire without renewing it and without ever even publishing it. I would give up, and I became comfortable with that.

In my most recent attempt at starting this thing up again, I’ve had either an epiphany or divine intervention or a simple lack of Fs to give anymore for what horror could await me if I made a mistake on the internet or if someone out there judged me. I’m finally opening myself back up to the idea of “failing miserably.” My acting teacher in college used this phrase with us quite a bit, and outside of the Meisner technique and crying in a closet as your classmate pretends to need to get grandma’s ring back from you, I think it can apply to pretty much most things in life. If you’re going to put yourself/art/work out there in the world, then you need to prepare to fail. And failing is a part of life. So if you’re going to fail, and you will, then fail miserably. Lean into the failure. I don’t mean be pitiful, but go ALL IN on what you’re doing so that there is no doubt that you tried and you put your effort into it fully. So when you fail, again because you will, at least you can say you failed in a big fat MISERABLE way. Does that make sense?

So as I prepare to click “post,” I feel at peace finally that I have let myself get this far with this site that is years delayed for fear of failing at it. Only instead, now, I’m prepared for that and I’m leaning into it. I look forward to this being the momentum I need to fail miserably at a whole bunch more things. ;)